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[ The thought is uncomfortable, but he nods after a moment. ]

Thank you for the explanation. Then... Whenever you're ready.

[ Seer him, baybee. ]

[WELL. THIS WILL BE FUN.

Because when Tsukasa agrees, Lan Wangji nods, both in gratitude and acknowledgment. He closes his eyes, breathing slowly for a few moments. When he opens them again, they're glowing, soft and golden. True to Lan Wangji's word, it won't be painful, but Tsukasa will be able to feel the way Lan Wangji's looking through him, into him, at his soul itself.

At least, until he gasps, the equivalent of crying out in pain for anyone else. He curls in on himself, completely involuntarily, and breathes raggedly--and then collapses, right there on the floor. Hm.

And the extra fun part!! If Tsukasa touches him, he's going to fall ill for several hours with intense fever, delirium and full body pain, as though he's come into contact with a toxic substance. STAY BACK, NYANKASA]

[ That is... extremely unsettling, and even if he has no ill-intentions, nothing but the ever-present longing of a permanent home again and the nervous fear of what he's become, of being even more of a monster than he was before, he doesn't like it.

He also doesn't like it when Lan Wangji suddenly breathes so sharply that it makes the hair on the back of his neck rise up, and unfortunately for all of us, Tsukasa's the type to touch. He crawls closer to the other, his hands gripping his shoulder to shake him. ]

—Lan-san!?

[ Though it's not good for him either, obviously. His whole body shivers at the effects, and he cries out softly - but he still leans over Lan Wangji, shaking him. ]

Ah... Are you— okay? Lan-san? Please—

[ he doesn't want to be responsible for anyone dying. ]

[DAMN IT TSUKASA

Lan Wangji regains his consciousness fairly quickly, but that's the only good thing about this. His eyes blink open again, and he pushes Tsukasa away out of reflex, rather than any intrinsic knowledge that his touch could cause harm.]

I-- [His breath catches as pain wracks through his body, but he grits his teeth, forcing himself to speak through it.] Sorry-- don't know--

[What's going on, he means.]

[ oh, thank goodness--

tsukasa shakes his head - or maybe all of him is shaking, and he slowly lays down, hoping being gentle will ease his pain. (it does not.) there's a soft plinking sound as his tears, crystalline, hit the ground one by one, and his voice quakes. ]

...It's okay-- [ it isn't but neither of them meant for this to happen. ] Sorry- I'm sorry- it's my fault, isn't it?

No.

[Or, well--not entirely. Shaking his head hurts too much, but he makes himself lift a hand, breathing through his nose. His tail flares out in agitation, but there's nothing to be done for it.]

It did not-- happen with-- Miss Beau. Not your-- fault.

[It is, more likely than anything, his own. The first little shock, and the nightmares, those he might've been able to brush off. But this feels...

...honestly, it feels like a warning. But he doesn't think saying that would help anything at all, so he just concentrates on trying not to be sick. He's too busy for this!!

He tries his best to wrestle his voice back to its usual even tone, but he doesn't quite succeed.]

Do any others know?

[ me trying to remember timelines & who else knows

it's hard to concentrate to think who else does - there's lan wangji, told by beau; there's beau, told by... ]

—Okuni-san. [ beloved okuni. ] She found me first.

[ a slow, uneasy breath. he wants to just sleep it off, just sleep- ]

That's all. She's the only other.

Edited 2020-05-25 13:03 (UTC)

[IF THAT AIN'T A MOOD I'm cryin.

Okuni, though... well, he can't say he's totally surprised. EVEN NOW he thinks she was lying about some things (her stupid magical stick!!) but the fact that she's involved doesn't seem to come as a shock.

He breathes slowly, digging his nails into his palms to try and concentrate.]

I do not know what she has told you. [Though Lan Wangji would like to think Okuni wouldn't have said anything terrible about him--even if they don't always agree, she is still his kinda-sorta sister-in-law.] But I wish to help you, however I can.

Even if she had told me anything bad about you— [ He cuts himself off with a small whine, but forges through once he's caught himself. ] Ah, I wouldn't believe it. Wei Wuxian-san speaks too fondly of you.

[ because of course he got the whole rundown from his local neighborhood crow. ]

No one Wei Wuxian-san loves... can be a bad person, Lan Wangji-san.

[Even like this, with all the confusion and pain of the current situation, the mere mention of Wei Wuxian is enough to bring a smile to his face. It's a tiny thing, but it softens his usual demeanor, ice turned to snow.

He dips his head in gratitude, inhaling sharply at the stab of pain it sends through him.]

I will try to be worthy of your trust.

[He still doesn't know what he can do to help protect them, but he's determined to figure it out.]

Do you... know of any others? [Besides Beau.]

[ (doublechecks a timeline) ok ]

...Okuni-san— [ or, well. ] Her voice. I heard her tell me Ookurikara-san was one.

[ but he wasn't yet gone to confirm or deny this because after this he's going to go investigate with shinobu, and then there's A Lot That Happens. ]

[YEAH THANKS FOR GETTING HIS SISTER BLINDED NYANKASA

But Lan Wangji doesn't know about that yet, so he just nods, taking that information in.]

Thank you. [For trusting him. He wishes he had something to offer in return, but no, Tsukasa just gets Pain.

Still, it's important that Tsukasa knows--]

I want to protect you. All of you. [He doesn't want what happened in the castle to ever happen again. Nor does he want them to take the fall for it, if something happens to their country.]

[ PLEASE DON'T BE MAD WHEN YOU FIND OUT!!!

The knowledge there are people looking out for him is enough - and will be comforting, considering next week's news from Okuni. ]

...Thank you. [ very sincerely. ] We'll... [ ........... ] We don't know how, but we— we'll protect you, too. Save you. Everyone.

[ somehow. ]

[HE MIGHT BE!!! Okay no he won't be because he knows better than anyone that nobody can stop Shinobu from doing what she wants to do.]

Mm.

[He trusts that they'll try, and that's all anyone can ask of them.

A pause, then--and it's hard to tell if he's trying to think through the pain, or if he's just trying to figure out what he wants to say.]

May I ask what the gods asked of you?

...The kind of power they gave me, right? [ he talked to beau about this too, and he breathes out slowly. ] Ah... I think... I'm able to stabilize others' powers... So if things get a little wild, I may be of some help.

[ that type of thing. calming things down, stabilizing, neutralizing - whatever you want to call it. ]

[That's good news--very good news, honestly. Lan Wangji nods slowly, making a mental note of it. Maybe they can call upon Tsukasa in the future, if his powers can help someone.

For now, though, he's clearly suffering. Lan Wangji bows to him as best he can, clenching his jaw against the pain of it.]

I will go. You should rest. [If his presence is causing Tsukasa pain, then he needs to leave. He doesn't want to make it worse.] Who can I call to watch over you?

[ Oh - ]

I'm fine. Don't worry. [ ahaha. ] I'll just sleep it off. If you really get worried though, you can call Wei Wuxian-san- but I promise, I'll be okay.

[Lan Wangji doesn't look like he believes that "I'm fine" even a single bit?? He stares for a minute, grappling with the urge to ensure he isn't causing greater damage, and the desire to be sure he isn't abandoning Tsukasa to handle his pain alone.

But he does, of course, trust Wei Wuxian with his life--it's only his name that gets Lan Wangji to nod, though he's still noticeably reluctant.]

I will.

[He doesn't want Tsukasa to think he's leaving him alone to his pain.]

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